Juanita’s blog

I passed up one of the many assignments I have today. Yay!!! But, there’s still lots more to go. No complains, because they say enjoy your students life as much as you can, there’ll be lots of hardship when we go to the working force. So, I’m going to enjoy my life as university student now. Knowing that I’ll probably miss easter camp this year is really not a happy feeling at all. My 2 years of being in Australia and never missed any easter camps makes this year’s missing of easter camp rather sad for me. The fellowship, the skits, the food, the beach, the castle, to celebrate in remembrance of our Lord Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, and above all, the saddest part, missing Dr.Gary Cohen’s messages. But, thank God for my dear sister Clara, who told me she’s going to record down all the messages so that I can listen to it. Yay again!!!!

Today I decided to write about my dearest Brothers and Sisters in Christ in Hope Bible Presbyterian Church that are very close to my heart. If you guys read my blog and want to give me a big hug, hehe, you know where to look for me =) (guys cannot give me hug!!!!)

First in my list, Jonathan Liao. Jon’s been a really wonderful and supportive friend to me for the past 2 years. Our friendship is build up through many conversations, and of course, at times we do have disagreements and conflicts, but, he’s a true friend that I truly treasure and cherish. Remember the time when I got sick, he would sms and with his excellent cooking skills, made a yummy fish porridge and brought it to the hospital for me. I was very touch. Thanks jon. My life in Australia would have been so boring if it weren’t for you jon. You’re a blessing to me. I really thank God that you have stepped forth to get baptise and pray that God will guide you in everything you do.

Next is none other than Gilly Bean…hehe..I mean Gillian. I thank the Lord for her fervency and strong faith. Her never failing cares and concern towards the people around her. Her ever serving heart. I pray that God willing, someday one lucky man would walk down the wedding aisle with her. She definitely has great qualities!!

Min Yen, is my angelic sister. Her talents and characther truly shines for Christ. If you need comfort, look for her. She will always be there to lend her shoulders and a listening ears to listens. If it weren’t for you and Gillian, I probably won’t even realised that I was sick. I thank the Lord for your friendship and pray that you will make a good dentist in the future.

Nikki, just thinking about her puts a smile on my face. She is like a grass that is rooted strongly in the soil. Although she faces many hard times in Australia but it never pull down her spirit. I really admire your strength. I’ll always remember your hugs to me when I cried. Stay strong my good friend.

Jason Tan, calls himself "tan yan tao", means handsome tan in hokkien. Well, mm…no comment on that. I’m sure you’ll be handsome to your future wife. He was forbidden to come to the hospital to visit me. Poor Jason apparently got told off by my auntie because he keeps making me laugh, and she reckons laughing is not good after abdomen surgery?? I thank God for Jason’s encouragement towards me to be a member of Hope and to serve in committee positions.

Amanda Ying Qi, you’ll make a good dietition in the future. Everytime tell me "must eat must eat, you must eat"!! I’ll be missing you when you’re back to Singapore. I really thank you for taking the time to come and see me every morning when I was in hospital, eventhough you have placement to do. Thank You for the nice flower you bought for me too. It cheer me up and added comfort to my heart, and the CD you burnt for me, and the chocolates etc. I’m very blessed by your presence and friendship. Don’t worry, I won’t skip meals ok.

Marion, with her bubbly spirit, it’s contagious. When she walks in, you’ll notice her straight away. You have grown as a Christian and I thank the Lord for that. Thank You for always lending your helping hand, and not forgetting the whole bag of goodies you bought for me. Thank You for all our sharings.

Clara, this girl. I’m always worried that she might work herself to death. hehe…well…I’m just exaggerating. She’s one tough cookie. Thank You for your enthusiasism, always saying yes to everything required of you. Your service for the Lord is a wonderful testimony to many. Week by week, you’ll see her washing the dishes without fail, cleaning up without fail. Hardworking is the best word to describe you. Continue to serve the Lord with your attitude, it’s pleasing to Him.

Last but not least, Eu-Jzin. Although you’re far away, we haven’t forgot about you "lar". Uncle Jzin, when are you coming back? I miss pictionary time. Well, we’ll always remember you in our thoughts and prayers ok. Thank You for fetching me up and down the belair hills week by week when you were here. I still remember you smsing me to go out for a "date" at Botanical garden with Jason and yourself…haha…for those who don’t know the real story behind, its just that Eu Jzin wants to cheer me up by taking me out for fresh air after staying at home all the time after surgery. Eh, until today, also haven’t been to Botanical garden yet leh. Eu Jzin smses me every day when I was sick and gave me all the tips of eating meals during chemo treatment. It really helps. You must Jia You back in S’pore ya.

This is just a brief description of the many things that my dearest Brothers and Sisters In Christ have done for me. There’s so much more to write about them. I thank God for each and every one of you. Every single one of you have a special place in my heart and I pray that no matter where we will be in the future, God is always taking care of each and every one of you. God brings different people to cross our paths in our life. I’m so thankful He brought our paths to  cross. May God bless all of you.            

I decided to write something in my blog after listening to this song titled "Amazing Love". One of my favourite Bible verse is Isaiah 53:5, "But he was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: The chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed". Everyone has different definitions of love. Some love their parents more than anything, some love their partner more than anything, some love their cars and money more than anything. But, the greatest love in the history of mankind is God’s sacrificial love that was manisfested to us through His God sent son to earth to hang on the cross for our sins. It breaks my heart when I think of what Jesus had to go through for my sake. How can it be that He should die for a sinner like me? And yet, I rejoice that He is now sitting at the right hand of the throne of God, interceeding on our behalf. He overcame the power of sin and death, reigning victoriously. Uncle George always emphasises to the young people at church, "You are born on the wings on prayer". I like what he says because when we pray, we know that Jesus is there interceeding for us.

I often struggle with my past, not wanting to look back at the mistakes that I’ve done and sometimes blaming myself for making a foolish decision. If we carry our burdens using our own strength, we can never learn to rely and lay it all at Jesus’s feet. Pastor Ki preached before that to know God’s grace, we have to know God’s justification. Uncle George says "use your stumbling block as a stepping stone". Sometimes we fall, but it’s as though God throws out his rope and try to "catch" us back to His own arms. That’s how much God loves us. God’s mercy is endless and overflowing, like a river that floods our soul.

This afternoon the ladies fellowship started their first session of Introduction to Biblical counselling. Although I’m not in ladies fellowship, but I still went for the sessions. It was a rewarding time, listening to Dr.Jim Berg’s teaching. He ask a question: "do people bother you or challenge you?". He says we ought to love everyone around us and to regard their problems as a burden so that we are able to help them to overcome it. If we cannot see others needs, then we should ask God to fill us with goodness. How true! Dr. Jim said "If we are to be use by God, are we doing according to what He commanded us to do?" It made me pause to think and reflect on what Dr.Jim said this afternoon. I really praise and thank God for such a good lesson and pray that it will not be head knowledge but to apply it in my daily life. I am in no way near perfection and always in need of the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Just like the hymn we sang, "only to be what He wants me to be".

Acts 20:25a But none of these things move me,neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy…

Today’s blog is specially dedicated to someone that I love very much and very special to me, she is Auntie Myung. She appears quiet and gentle on the outside, and yet, so strong and brave on the inside. Auntie Myung is someone that I respect so much because of her strong characther. She is truly a God-send angel to earth. I’m so thankful for Auntie Myung and I regard her like my own mom.

Whenever I’m discourage, I reminded myself that God will never give us something that we cannot bear. And yet, the difficulties and challenges faced in Australia for the past few year was never easy. I constantly want to go home, even lately. To be honest, I just want to go back to my own comfort zone, to enjoy the presence of my family, to be able to watch tv, to just go out and have a meal without having to worried about the conversion rate…but Auntie Myung said home is where I’ll feel comfortable, but things might not work out like what God plans. She said never give up, don’t ever give up. I still remember so clearly, that when I found out that I had to go for chemotherapy, I was bending down my head and cried until I fell asleep, then when I open my eyes, Auntie Myung was just sitting right beside me. She gave me a warm smile and wipe off my tears. Auntie Myung shared something to me which I’ll never forget. She said when Jesus walk through the waters, his diciples thought it was a ghost, but Jesus assured them "It is I, do not be afraid". She said sometimes the storm of our lives is so strong that it clouded us, but always remember Jesus saying "It is I". When life is hard, Jesus said "It is I who carry you", when things seems wrong, Jesus said "It is I who sustain you"…I’ll always remember all the things that Auntie Myung taught me.

Auntie Myung said what I’m facing now is just a little dot to what I will face in the future. To be a missionary is not an easy job. God is moulding me into what He wants me to be. Job said "when He tries me, I shall come forth as gold". Never question God why things happen, but only learn to submit to His will. I know Auntie Myung’s strength and courage comes from God. She is always weak and suffering because of her illness, but she shines so bright that it touches the people around her. I look up to her as a role model, and what Auntie Myung has taught me is deeply placed in my heart. I will not let you down Auntie Myung.

I really pray from the bottom of my heart that God will bless Auntie Myung and Pastor Ki for their kindness. They are truly a blessings to everyone that knows them.

My new found part time job: Nanny

What do I do?? I walk a 6 year old girl to school

Just the other day I was browsing through my Uni’s Career Services and saw this newly posted job description, and no experiences are needed. So, I thought I should give this lady a ring, and send in my resume. But, she didn’t call back for days, so, I was thinking to myself…well, another "rejection"…I guess I’ll have to look for another job then…But, surprisingly she called back and ask me to go to her place the next day. Hooray!!!! I was so happy, you’ll be surprise how much they pay me per hour. My job is to accompany a 6 year old girl to Unley Primary School. First day was good. I only had to comb the 6 year old’s hair…tie her shoe lace..pack her bag..pack her lunch..and off we go to school…mmm…makes me feel like singing a go to school song…lol…(ooh…and I get to sit there and watch cartoon with her before we actually head off to school).

Having this part time job helps me to wake up early and sleep early. Every morning I have to wake up at 7am…and I TRY to sleep by 11-11.30pm at night, which gives me a fair amount of sleep needed…lately my sleeping pattern was abit "dis-organised" (not anyone’s fault)…but now, I want to get myself organised again. I went to see a doc last week because of ringing sound in my ear…and mind me…its really annoying…doc said must be the chemo drugs that’s causing my nerve to breakdown and send the ringing sound to my ear…he suggested acupuncture..which i went…mmm…nah…needles again!!! I told him if it doesnt get better, I’ll go back to look for him…so he suggested to me to have a good sleep pattern and see whether the sound will go off by itself. I hope it does.

Why am I talking about doc when this is about my part time job?? In a nutshell, I just want to thank God for His provision. After receiving the phone call from the lady, I said a silent prayer, thanking God for everything. I constantly remind myself that although this is not a proper life time job, I still want to do my best so that I may please God in the things that I do. I really thank God for this part time job because I can save up money for my mission trip in 2008. Cambodia, here I come!!! I pray that I will use the money that God has blessed me with wisely, and to serve Him with what He has provided me with. Praise and Thanks to God.

Today is sunday. For the Christians, sunday is an important day for us because it’s the Lord’s day, where we go to church and sing hymns to worship God and also listen to Pastor’s sermon on the bread of life (the Holy Bible). Sunday is the Sabbath day, where we rest and spend time with God. Today we had the priviledge to visit Auntie Nan. I was really happy because it’s been quite a while since we last visited her. Auntie Nan is a dutch lady, from Holland. She used to attend our church but then she fell sick many many years ago and is now staying in the nursing home. Auntie Nan has such strong faith that although she’s suffering from demensia, she still remembers one thing…that is…"Christ is coming soon". Just by hearing her saying that really touch my heart. We sang some hymns for her and there’s a huge smile on her face, it made me wonder how much have we impacted people’s lives by our actions..words…thoughts…??? I really pray that when I get to heaven, God will say to me "well done thou good and faithful servant".

Often times we take so many things for granted. I know I have. Uncle Michael’s sermon this morning really prick my heart, and then visiting Auntie Nan just made me think more on how I should appreciate life. Uncle Michael shared a touching real life story this morning, he quoted a Bible verse from Psalm 46:1, "The Lord is my strength and refuge, a very present help in trouble". He said that he recently received an email from a Preacher’s son name Alex. Alex’s was writing in his email on how good God is to his family and how God is always protecting us and watching over us. Alex said few weeks ago his wife and their little baby was going to this usual eating out place they would always go. His wife would normally sit in the same corner every week. But, somehow or rather on that day she chooses to sit somewhere else. So, she started to eat a few mouth full of food, and then suddenly, the place that she normally sits has a glass window….and went "crash"…and all the glasses fell. She was so shock by the incident bacause she knew that if she would have sat there like every other time, she and the little baby would have got cuts all over them now. Alex said in his email how the angel of the Lord must have pull them away from their normal seats to another one. Wow, isn’t that amazing??? It taught me a good lesson. A really good one. I was thinking to myself: why do I get stress over assignment that’s not done…why do I get stress over the progress of renewing my student visa…why do I worried whether I would be able to look for a job or not…when the Almighty God that I believe in can do all things and giveth all things. I reminded myself that the life that I’m living now is my bonus life, given from God. My life would have ended half a year ago, but by God’s grace and mercy, He sustain me and gave me a second chance to live for Him. I was walking through the shadow of the valley of death and at that time I felt I was at an end point. I know that God gave me a "new" life for His purpose, to run the race, to fight a good fight for Him, until it really is the right time for Him to take me home. So, why am I complaining?? I told myself, this is a new life, so I should give my best to God in everything I do. Isn’t the trial I faced back half a year ago was much greater to bear than what I am facing now. God took my hand and put his arms around me at the darkest moment of my life. He carried me through every single trials in my life. And yes, I believe He will do the same even now. Rev Tow wrote a pocket prayer book that goes "the day had its problems, but Lord, Your grace is more than sufficent". Even Auntie Nan can place her faith in God despite her sickness and suffering, I too also should remind myself of the sickness and suffering that I went through and put my faith in God.

Dear God, Thank You. It’s all because you first love me, not I that love You. It was all because you first persuit me, not I that persuit You. Do you have Jesus in your heart??? I have, and I can proudly say "To God be the Glory, Amen".   

I woke up exceptionally early today, as compare to other normal days. I guess it’s partially because I’m still feeling abit down and having a heavy heart.

Thought about my conversation with my sister in Christ yesterday..our dreams…our concern..our grievance…our sharing…makes me feel really warm at heart. This good friend of mine loves sunflower, she says sunflower is a weed and not a flower, its vitality is so strong, so brave, that even if the wind blow and the rain pours, the sunflower will perservere and not dry down. So, I decided to dedicate today’s blog to my one of the best friend that I’ve come to know in Australia, Gill.Ong.

Gill and I have the same dreams, that is to dream for God. We want to leave this so call Adelaide place so much, to go to Asia/third world country to serve the Lord. Our burden and desire is to go to the mission field. Hers is to combine her social skills and her Christian values to serve the Lord, mine…not so much of my Accounting skills I suppose, but plainly just to serve the Lord with my heart. I guess 4 years of her being an International students and 2 years of mine has made both of us stronger…tougher…braver…mature…and rooted our faith in a much deeper soil (Jesus Christ).

Life is going kindda no where at the moment for both of us…she’s unemployed…and I’m just hoping to graduate by August…we both have our own battles within us…people might not see it…but we both know it…she gave a description that both of us are higher up there (not in a boasting way), but the sense of loneliness is so much more because everyone else is lower below….one thing that both of us know for sure is that…it’s God’s will that He has placed both of us in Adelaide and Hope church. We are both obeying His calling for us to be in the YAF committee this year. Gill, we strive for our best in our service for the Lord ok?? No matter how people discourages us through their actions or speech…we fix our eyes on Jesus. Jia you!!!

I thank the Lord especially for Gill because of the support and care that she has given me. They say "what are friends for"…truly she is someone that’s willing to walk miles for a friend. I still remember so clearly when she found out that I had to go through chemotherapy, we both hugged and cried together on my hospital bed. She gave me this..well…not so difficult but not so easy assignment..that is to write down 100 things that I want to do when I get out of hospital. Gill, Min Yen and my sis had a "hospital adventure"…which was totally against the permission of the nurse. They took me on a wheelchair and just roll me out from the hospital room without the consent of the nurse. Ah well…I guess this is something we would do. Also not forgetting, she carried a guitar with her and took a free bus from Uni (which I can assure you is quite far from hospital）just to sing some songs from the YAF song book for me, apparently I told her I was bored…well…you mesmerize the whole hospital room with your singing…right?? (I can imagine your facial expression now)..hah…Gillian, how I thank the Lord for your friendship and your "sunflower" spirit, always so strong within and never give up despite life can be quite daunting in many ways. While going through the darkest moments of my life, you were there to give your hand and your love to me.

Eh…maybe I should get a sugar mummy too…what do you think huh???

As you can see on my title "patience"….I think God is teaching me to be longsuffering towards many things that’s happening in my life at the moment..

Lately, I’ve been having some difficulties renewing my student visa…it does make me loose my temper…which I think is not good..all I can say is "immigration dept people are plain…useless"…having to go through dept to dept…papers to papers…and now…getting stuck at the stage where I can’t get any process done..why make my life hard???? For those that are facing the same problems as I am…we are truly on the same boat..feels like our voices are unheard!!!

My assigment is no where near done…gathering information is equally stressful as dealing with the immigration dept people…and it’s due in 1 weeks time…i guess it’s going to be another long week of "assignment and me"…

I often question my decison of coming over to Australia..whether it was right or wrong in the first place…am I having little faith??? Or is it just a mere sign of home sick"ness"??? I try to comfort myself by telling myself that I am just having a bad week..that’s all…

I have to say..it’s frustrating….气死我。。。真让我爆血管！！！ 

今天特别想念我的好朋友，不懂她们过得怎样，你们还好吗?? theen theen…ah pau…xuang xuang…doreen (loleen)…siew yee….ah yin….maysun…ah li….lini… 好想出来喝杯茶，聊心事。时间和距离让联系的机会变得越来越少，我们个忙个的。但，对你们的友谊，深深打印在我心中。对"blog"没什么好感和兴趣的我，因为对你们的想念，也开始慢慢打起电脑的"keypad"。 theen theen, 在写这个"blog"的同时， 我在想"banana"的 loleen怎么看得懂我在写什么，看来又要你这个"chinese expert"来解释给她听吧！！ pau 也不会看不懂吧？？hehehe….

最近心情有点差，在一个不同的国家，有时候难过，都让眼泪和委屈往肚里吞。真让我更珍惜我们彼此的友谊。回忆慢慢在我脑海中浮现。我把对你们的思念，再配合现在的科技"so-call internet"， 传达到“马来西亚”(malaysia)….hehe…希望你们收到吧！！

何时再见都不懂，希望见面时我们都带有那份成熟与成长的气质吧。

theen….好想讲冷笑话给你听。。。别晕嘛！！！

theen…pau..xuang…doreen…"shopping centre"在等我们呢。

siew yee…答应你的巧克力"muffin cake"。。我回去一定做给你吃。

yin….."McD"生意照做，可是我们两个顾客的笑声却不在。。。期待再见你。。。

maysun…说了还是要说。。。加油。。。。你可以做一个好医生。

ah li..按定吃饭。。。照顾身体。。。要不然我会很啰嗦的。。。。 ：P

lini….要过得幸福。。。我们想听到你开心的迅息。。。好吗。。。

haih….一句，好想回家。。。。。